Through Wide, Grey Eyes
by Orlissa92
Summary: Zutara Week 2012, Day 3: Transcend. Zutara from Aang's perspective from their time at Ember Island up until his actual acceptance


**A/N: I have always liked different, special point of views – that's how this story came to life :) Also, I refer to several of my other stories in this one. You don't have to read them to understand, though, but if you have, then have fun finding the references :)  
Word Count: 4812  
Rating: K+  
Disclaimer: [Insert funny text here that tells you I don't own Avatar: the Last Airbender]**

They are on Ember Island – they have just arrived, Katara has just faced her mother's murderer and the comet is still weeks away – when Aang starts seeing the signs.

At first, when he catches the longing glances and the accidental touches, he tries to convince himself that he is imagining things. Because really, why on earth would Katara consider Zuko more than a simple friend? After all, not a long ago they hated each other. They couldn't even carry out a simple, civil conversation. And Zuko shouldn't like Katara either, not as a girl, since he has a girlfriend, or something like that (or at least used to, and shouldn't it take time to get over a break up?).

So he tells himself that nothing's there. He tells himself that's Zuko is only offering to help Katara do the dishes because he's been raised a gentleman and maybe because he can heat the water. That Katara is only supervising their firebending practices because she cares about his progress. That they are laughing together only because something funny has happened that worth laughing, and anyway, they are friends now.

Friends.

Nothing more.

But still, he is careful. No – he's desperate. He is clinging to Katara now. He is making sure that she is well aware of his affection for her. He insists on more waterbending lessons. In the evenings, he is the one to volunteer first to help with the dishes. He tries to touch her hand while doing so. He tries to make her laugh. He kisses her during the intermission (but that means nothing, because it's Zuko who is sitting next to her through all three acts and he is the one whose hand she squeezes when something terrible happens on the stage).

Then the comet comes and Zuko and Katara go to the Fire Nation together. But it still means nothing – Zuko needs somebody to help him. Aang, himself, can't help him – he has to face Ozai, and he is not even present when they take off to the Fire Nation. Sokka is no match to Azula. Toph is… Toph. Suki won't leave Sokka alone. Katara is the only logical choice. She is strong, a good warrior. She and Zuko understand each other well. They are attuned to each other.

And anyway, he believes he will soon return, victorious, with Fire Lord Ozai on his knees, and he will be the hero, and doesn't the hero always gets the girl? The war will be over, peace will come, and Katara will realize the she loves him.

He keeps telling himself that.

But then Ozai falls, Azula falls, the Fire Empire falls, and Avatar Aang is the hero – but he doesn't get the girl.

They – Sokka, Toph, Suki, he and Ozai in chains - arrive at the Fire Nation capital at nightfall, Zuko and Katara waiting for them, hand in hand.

They are hiding no more. They don't say it out loud – there are no declarations. They just act it.

They are not afraid to touch each other anymore. They hug, snuggle, kiss without being ashamed, even in front of their friends. They have no reason to hide anymore.

Toph is amused – she knew it from the beginning, she says. Sokka is shocked, at first, then enraged, then he is happy for them. Suki thinks they are cute.

Aang's heart is breaking.

He can't bear to talk to them – to see them – for days. He is hiding in Appa's stable, far away of the hustle-bustle of the palace, of the preparations of the coronation of the new Fire Lord.

Zuko finds him on the third day. He tries to apologize.

He sits next to him on the hay, and with a heavy sigh, he starts to speak, without looking at him.

"I have never meant it to happen," he says. "But I am not sorry that it did. I am happy, Aang – truly happy, maybe for the first time in my life. I only regret that it had to happen this way. I – we – never meant to hurt you."

He doesn't answer. He doesn't know what he could say. So he just lets Zuko continue.

"Please, don't be angry at her. If you have to be, be angry at me. You are still my friend, and I don't want to lose you, but if you have to hate somebody, let it be me."

They sit there for a long time after that in silent.

Aang doesn't hate any of them; it's just hurts and he doesn't understand. Why is Zuko better than him?

"You will be there at my coronation, right?" Zuko says finally. "As the Avatar?"

Aang nods.

"Yes. As the Avatar."

And he does. He stands there with Zuko on the top of the stairs, he takes the praise, he smiles as the crowd kneels in front of them. He is the Avatar and Zuko is the Fire Lord; the world has to see that they can work together.

He flees from the banquet afterwards. He doesn't want to see them dancing together. He doesn't want to see them hand in hand, holding each other close, kissing each other.

Two months pass until he sees them – any of them – again. Iroh's tea shop is opening again and he invites all of them. Aang can't reject him.

Sokka thinks it's his duty to fill him in on what has happened since they parted. He mostly talks about Fire Nation food and Piandao, under whom he is studying again. He shows him his new sword and his progress in calligraphy, but at a certain point they have to talk about Zuko and Katara.

Sokka is very careful when the conversation drifts to them.

"All I know is that dad has talked to Iroh. We don't really know what passed between then – none of the lovebirds talk – but I don't think you have to be a genius to guess." He shrugs. "But there's nothing official yet."

Nothing official. So that new comb in her hair with the red stone is just a simple gift. And the necklace under her high collar is only her mother's old one.

Aang almost hopes.

It's not completely over yet.

He can still get Katara.

He almost goes looking for that Jin girl Iroh once mentioned – the one Zuko once dated. He almost brings her to the Jasmine Dragon. He almost thinks that the Earth Kingdom girl could make Zuko forget Katara. He almost hopes that then Katara would finally choose him. Almost.

Then Iroh calls him away and have a rather serious talk with him.

(Of course, he is taking Zuko's side.)

Their discussion consists mostly of sayings and proverbs, and Aang can hardly remember it afterwards, can hardly make sense of it, but he stills gets the main point of it.

Sometimes, fate sets a different path to us than the one we want, and in that case, we have to find our true destiny. And be happy for the ones who have already found each other.

So, in other words, he urges him to carry on.

And he tries.

By the third day of their stay he is speaking with Katara again – he hasn't done so since after the last battle. On the fifth day, he can even carry out a conversation with Zuko and Katara at the same time. On the seventh day he hugs both of them goodbye.

During the following months he travels the world, mostly alone, and tries to forget, tries to move on. He tries to find a new goal, now, that the war is over.

He doesn't really succeed. For him, Katara is still the girl.

Winter passes, the flowers bloom in the Earth Kingdom and he finds himself on his way to the South Pole – Katara is turning sixteen.

He thinks that in the last four months he has matured enough to handle Katara and her choice. He is wrong.

He arrives before Zuko – technically, before anyone – and his heart start racing and his stomach is doing flip-flops the moment he sees her. She is beautiful, even more beautiful than the last time he saw her. She is growing up.

At first, it is almost like one and a half year ago when he first woke up after a hundred years. When they are not helping around the village – or town, rather, by now – they are having snowball fights, go penguin sledding and talk well into the night. And everything just gets better when Toph and Sokka and Suki arrive. It's almost like their travels during the war – only, without the stress.

But then a great, black ship appears on the horizon.

Aang's first reaction is panic – after all, old habits die hard. He has to see Katara's face lighting up with happiness to understand that it's only Zuko.

His heart sinks.

From then, it's almost like he doesn't even exist. (Okay, to Katara's credit, she still tries to include him to the conversations, but still, Zuko's there, and now he is the point around what her world is turning.) More and more often he finds himself alone with Sokka or Toph, while Katara is away with Zuko somewhere, anywhere, doing who knows what.

He once catches them kissing behind one of the igloos.

Then it's her birthday, and they are celebrating, and there are bonfires and music and dancing, and even though he is now counting the days until he can leave, he is still excited about his gift for Katara – a very old scroll on waterbending, one he has found in a remote part of the Earth Kingdom. He knows that Katara is going to love it, and going to be very grateful for it (and maybe now she'll see how great he is, how well they would match).

But all his hopes go up in smoke, because Zuko has something to offer her that makes the scroll pale in comparison.

A betrothal necklace (and a pair of golden combs, too, because that's how they do it in the Fire Nation).

The day of his departure can't come sooner.

Now, he has a purpose – he wants to rebuild the air temples, starting with Southern one, where he was born. Doing so, he needs help. He needs assistance. He needs money.

So he travels the world again – visiting old friends in the Earth kingdom. He goes to Ba Sings Se, Omashu, even to Gaoling. He spends two weeks at Toph's family. After that he visits the North Pole, then the South Pole (he makes sure that Katara has already left for the Fire Nation Capital before he does that).

His final destination is the Fire Nation – the outer islands first, the capital at last. He is timing his arrival so he is just on time for Katara and Zuko's wedding, with no spare time before it.

Frankly, he doesn't want to attend, but it's diplomacy and politics, and he is the Avatar and he has to be there, so the people of the world can so that the nations can live harmoniously together. After all, if fire and water can love each other, what is impossible? But really, the only thought that keeps him sane is that it's not only a wedding, but the first anniversary of the end of the war. They are celebrating the first birthday of peace, not the marriage of his friends – of the girl who he loves with his whole heart.

The day doesn't pass without trouble. He hears from Iroh that Zuko has a panic attack in the morning. They catch a burglar in the servants' quarters (he didn't have the chance to advance to the treasury). The Fire Sage appointed to crown Katara refuses to do so. A riot almost breaks out on the coronation plaza.

But other than that everything is beautiful (he prides himself for not interrupting the ceremony), even if it makes his heart break, and all he can think about is what if it was his wedding to Katara?

Of course, if it was, it wouldn't have been such a big affair. They would have had it in the Southern Air Temple, with only their closest friends present, and Katara wouldn't have had precious gems in her hair only a wreath of flowers.

Now, he stays for the ball and he is seated at the main table, only a few people between him and Katara (and Zuko) and he dances with Suki and Zuko's mom. He tries to ask Toph for a dance, too, but it's hopeless.

By nightfall the air in the room becomes stuffed and heavy with the smell of wine and feels suffocating. He excuses himself from the table and goes to the balcony to clear his head. He doesn't even realize that Katara is following him (it's strange; there was a time when he was aware of her every movement).

For a minute they are just standing there on the marble under the dark silk of the night, without saying anything. He glances at her. She is beautiful.

Her lithe body is covered in fine silks, her hair up in an elaborate do, with gems and combs and white flowers in it. On her neck, there is the necklace Zuko gave her. Golden bracelets are jingling on her wrists. Her eyes are lined with black, her lips reddened and she had rouge on her cheeks.

She looks like somebody who is worthy of sitting on the side of the Fire Lord.

She is the first to speak.

"I am so happy you came, Aang," her voice is soft, barely above a whisper.

"I had to. After all…" After all it's his duty; to the world, to his friends.

"I know. It's just…" she sighs. "I know that it must be terrible for you. I don't know what I would have done if Zuko had chosen Mai or some other Fire Nation noblewoman. It would have crushed me. And yet, you are here, smiling, dancing and…" she pauses for a moment, her gaze softening. "…You are a great man, Aang. One of the best"

He speaks before he could think about it.

"Then why did you choose him?"

It startles her. He is already sorry that he said that.

"It was never about what's logical or what the right thing to do is. Love… it doesn't care about common sense. And I love him, Aang. I don't really know why, or how it started, I just do. I love the way he makes me smile, the way he kisses me. I love him even when he is moody and when he is irritated by something and is hard to get along with. I love how he is so determined to do the right thing. I love him, his whole being"

"And it won't change, right?" It surprises even him how mature he sounds.

Katara's head softly falls forward, her gaze on the garden below them as he slowly shakes her head.

"No."

"But you will be happy with him?"

"I hope so."

Aang sighs, nodding. If she will be happy, he will be able to accept her choice, he thinks.

"But this doesn't mean that your friendship doesn't mean the world to me," she says after a minute of silence. She leans forward and places a kiss – chaste, platonic - on his cheeks leaving red lipstick marks on his skin. "Dance with me?"

He does, but only for a few minutes. Then Zuko cuts in and doesn't let her out of his sight until the end of the ball.

That night Aang drinks alcohol for the first time.

It's not until the next morning, when slightly hungover he watches one of the Fire Sages come out of Zuko's – and now Katara's – room and announce that the marriage has been consummated, and so it is valid, that it sinks in – really sinks in – that his friends are married.

He doesn't stay long in the Fire Nation after that – he has much to do, after all. Finally he has all the support he needs to rebuild the Southern Air Temple. The next year is spent with plans and hard work. He has new friends to help – people from all the three remaining nations who want to help him revive the long lost traditions of the Air Nomads. They share his beliefs, his eating habits. They wear the clothes the Air Nomads used to wear a century ago. They meditate with him in the mornings. They call themselves Air Acolytes.

A year passes before he sees any of his old friends again, but he is called to the Fire Nation for the second anniversary of the end of the war – and Zuko and Katara's first anniversary. This time, he goes with a little bit lighter heart.

When he arrives he learns that Katara is with child.

She is not far along, not at all. He wouldn't even notice her belly if he isn't told; her robes hide it well, at least for now.

He soon convinces himself that he shouldn't be surprised. Zuko is the last in the line - Azula is insane, Ozai is locked away, Iroh is too old to have another child -, and the throne and the future of the Fire Nation have to be secure, and the best way to do that is having an heir. Frankly, it's a miracle that they don't have a child already (a year is enough to have a baby, isn't it?)

When the official ceremonies and parties are over, and the politicians and representatives from all over the world start milling home they head for Ember Island for a much deserved vacation – every one of them; it's almost like two years ago, when they hid there during the war. There, without the watching eyes of the Court, on the hot shore, Katara sheds her robes in favor of a light two-piece bathing suit, and then he can't help but notice the soft swell of her abdomen.

Aang doesn't really feel comfortable around her now, somehow. He just can't manage the fact that there is a new, growing life in her. He just can't wrap his head around that. Children are… great, he thinks, but he is too young to really consider them. (But then, so are Zuko and Katara.)

He watches them closely during their stay. Zuko obviously dotes on Katara – he is always there, always looking out for her. He always has something to ask, something to offer. Is she thirsty? Hungry? Does she have some kind of craving? Is she hot? Does her ankle, her back hurt?

Seemingly it upsets Katara after some time, and then she snaps, telling him to go away, to leave her alone, telling him that she is alright; she is not sick, not invalid, just pregnant. The warrior inside her, they way she was brought up, opposes to the thought of being served this way.

But then the moment passes, and the next thing that Aang notices is them lying under the shade of an parasol, Zuko's head on her lap, softly talking to the bump – to their child -, while Katara's hand wanders down from time to time to caress his black hair. They seem so, so happy.

Aang starts to drop the idea of this baby being a political decision.

But watching them makes him realize something – he doesn't want this. At least not for some more years. A year ago, when they got married, he imagined what it would have been like to be in Zuko's place. Now, he doesn't even think about it. He doesn't know what he would do if Katara – the expecting Katara – would be his wife now.

He also realizes – and yes, it hurts him – that Katara wouldn't – couldn't – be happy if she was with him. Watching her, he sees that she really wants and loves this baby. That the growth of her belly amazes her. That she can't wait to hold the baby in her arms.

He couldn't give her that; not now. He would make her wait years, maybe a decade and Katara would wait, because she is just like that, but she wouldn't be happy. She would break inside.

But now, she is happy.

He couldn't ask for more for her.

He takes some times warming up, but then one day, when Zuko is away discussing something with Sokka, and Katara is resting on the patio, he braces himself, and takes a seat beside her.

He doesn't say anything for minutes. Katara doesn't push him, only smiles her new soft and sweet smile, the kind he associates with her pregnancy.

"Can you feel...?" He doesn't finish the sentence, not knowing how to refer to the baby. It? That seems inappropriate. Him? Her? He can't know whether it's a boy or a girl.

It doesn't matter. Katara understand him.

"No, not yet. But I have talked both to Gran and Ursa, and they say that I should soon." Seeing his face fall, she adds. "But I have been checking on him with my waterbending. He is growing fast. He is about this big now," she grabs his hand and bends his fingers into fist. He stares at his own hand. "And I can also feel his heartbeat. Toph says she can, too."

He is still unable to tear his gaze away from his fist. The little creature of this size inside of Katara is going be an actual baby in a little bit less than six months. It is just as amazing as it is terrifying.

"Aren't you… afraid?" He asks.

She sighs.

"Of course I am. There so many things that can go wrong. But… I think it worth it." She smiles. "It most definitely worth it. I know that this is what I want. I am exactly where I want to be."

Aang remembers that a year ago he asked her if she would be happy. She said she hoped. Now he sees that she is indeed happy.

Strangely, it's enough for him.

He leaves Ember Island two days later.

Everything feels different when he gets back to the Air Temple, though not bad-different. There are still so many things to be done, so much work, but he still looks forward to it. He writes to his friends every week now – he didn't do it for two years. He starts dating.

The girl is cute, a year younger than him, with big green eyes and thin mouth. She is one of the Acolytes. She is cute and he enjoys spending time with her even though he doesn't think that she will be the one. But it's okay. He isn't even sixteen yet.

Half a year0 flies past him like a blink of an eye.

He means to arrive at the Fire Nation before Katara goes into labor, but the baby tricks him and he arrives two days late.

The palace is in frenzy. There are guests – friends and politicians alike – in every little corner, servants running around crazily amongst them. He has been there for hours, but he still couldn't meet either Zuko or Katara. He runs into Suki and Sokka – who appears to be drunk – and then Toph, but can only speak a few words with each of them, because they have to go away or because there are somebody else who wants to have a word with the Avatar

Then somehow, just as the sun goes does, he finds himself sitting in a window seat just outside the Fire Lord and Lady's bedchamber, with the newborn prince in his arms.

He panics.

He has never held a baby before. He doesn't know who thought that it would be a good idea to give the prince to him. What if he drops him? That could even cause another war!

A soft movement in his arms stops his train of thoughts; the baby, who was fast asleep until then – thank the spirits – slowly wakes. Thankfully he doesn't cry, only gurgles a little. Aang looks at him – really looks at him – for the first time.

He is cute – kind of. At least as far as babies go.

Aang can only see his face peeking out from the red blankets. His face is round, chubby, a little bit still red. He has a little button for nose, although the arch of his eyebrows distinctly reminds Aang of Zuko's. But his mouth… yes, that's most definitely Water Tribe. It's strange to see the mixture of the two nations in this baby.

"Hey, you…" he coos softly, realizing that he doesn't even know the baby's name yet. He will have to ask Zuko or Katara as soon as he sees them.

Experimentally, he touches the baby's forehead with one finger. The skin there is soft, even more so than he imagined. The touch disturbs the baby and he opens his eyes for the first time in the Avatar's presence.

They are golden, just like his father's.

Aang heart sinks a little.

"I know," he hears Zuko's voice suddenly from his right. The Fire Lord looks a little worn, like he didn't have enough sleep in the last few days, but other than that, he looks the happiest Aang has ever seen him.

"Know what?" He asks as Zuko takes a seat next to him.

"His eyes," Zuko says, gently motioning him to give the baby over. Ha does without hesitation. Zuko seems much more natural, much more experienced at holding the baby. But, after all, he is his father. "I, too, hoped that he would get Katara's eyes." He chuckles with a smile on his face, but without humor. "Bu the Sages are delighted. They think that the color of his eyes means that he is a firebender."

"Do you want him to be a firebender?"

"He is healthy. Katara is well. These two things given, I don't care if he bends fire or water, or doesn't bend at all."

The baby fusses and Zuko changes the way he is holding him, gently rocking him. It seems to be working.

"Well… maybe the next one will have blue eyes," Aang says smiling, feeling only a little bit awkward.

"Believe it or not, that's exactly what Katara said," Zuko chuckles, his eyes not moving from his son. Aang can't help but chuckle with him.

"So… you are having more?"

"That's the plan."

They don't say anything after that for a while. After all, there isn't much to be said; it's enough to watch. The baby falls asleep again.

That's when Aang remembers that he still lacks a very important information.

"Uh, Zuko, by the way, what's his name?" He asks accompanied with a sheepish smile.

"Kizo," comes the soft answer. The name sounds unfamiliar.

"Is he named after somebody, or…?"

"Yes. An old ancestor of mine. He was on the throne about a thousand years ago. He didn't do anything remarkable," he shrugs, "but there wasn't one single war during his reign."

Aang nods solemnly.

"Then it's a good choice." Short pause. "…I guess."

Zuko smiles.

"It was Katara's idea. She took her studies seriously." He sighs, and that sigh is so love-struck that Aang conscious is telling him that it should hurt him, because they are talking about Katara – but it doesn't. The only thing he feels is peace, calmness and happiness for his friends. "I couldn't have asked for a better Fire Lady."

Aang smiles with him, reaching for the baby's head again.

"And you couldn't have found a better one, either." He takes a deep breath. "Zuko?"

The Fire Lord looks at, slightly confused.

"I am sorry," he continues. "For the last two and half years. I was… unfair to you, both of you. I shouldn't have been so hard on you, shouldn't have been so immature. Now I see that you are exactly where you were supposed to be. And I am happy for you."

"There is nothing to apologize for, Aang." Zuko's voice is soft, calm. "I understand how hard it was for you. I don't know what would have I done in your place. I would have gone mad, I guess."

"So no hard feelings?" Aang offers him his forearm. Untangling one arm from around the sleeping prince, Zuko takes it.

"Of course, Avatar." He stands up slowly. "Now, would you like to come with me to see that extraordinary Fire Lady we have just talked about? I am sure she would like to see you."

Aang practically leaps from his seat.

"Lead the way!" He exclaims, then clamps his mouth. "Sorry."

Zuko laughs quietly.

"It's okay – no harm done." He stars walking towards the door, with Aang right behind him. "By the way… wouldn't you like to tell me more about a certain girl you mentioned in your letters?"

Aang can't help but blush.


End file.
